silentpunk:

I dislike everyone on the internet today (i.e. just FACEBOOK, you tumblrers are off the hook for now).

People are scum, they are sycophantic, they are SO transparent.

I feel like either I’m in an emperor’s new clothes scenario* or everyone really is so self-obsessed they are really clueless**.

ARG FACEBOOK. You see your friends sucking up to people they don’t even like, planning their holidays (regulated break from wage-slavery: part-ay indeed) on their walls for everyone to see, moaning about how shit their life is one minute and then the next boasting about how their life is SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOURS. Changing the way they talk to get closer with some alpha male they wanna arse-lick, ignoring some people’s comments to pretend they are too busy to reply and then replying to someone else one minute later, providing FREE ADVERTISING for companies, like that’s not a boring status: ‘I’m totally drinking B*******r beer and loving it!’ SLOW CLAP well done you are boring.

I just end up joking about on facebook, what reason would I have to post some inane detail of my life unless it was either interesting for people to know, funny or I wanted to actually boast. If I wanna do these things I will openly do these things, but it seems like people on facebook are all pretending they are just diahorreac autobiographers and have to write about everything they are doing, except they DON’T because they only write about the stuff they think is gonna impress us*** and saddest of all is some of this stuff is actually just ordinary stuff - as if they are still stuck in that high-school game of trying to prove they aren’t weeeeird. Look at me I’m normal.

OR - ew! - coupley posts, posts about a ‘romantic day’ they spent with their loved one can be sweet but mostly seems really repressed and EVEN WORSE ‘stuff my girlfriend said’ posts, yes I’m sure you and your girlfriend are always bantering back and forth like a proper sit-com couple, I’m sure she loves your sexist jokes and you have sooo much fun together, that’s why you feel the need to tell everyone on facebook about the time your girlfriend once said something funny about star wars har har har - oh no wait, what, she broke up with you and now she’s a fuckingbitchwhoruinedyourlife? oh noes.

* everyone knows how obnoxious and obvious and fake they and each other are being but as long as no one mentions it it’s not awkward

**or they are so obsessed with how everyone else is JUDGING THEIR LIFE THROUGH THEIR FACEBOOK that they don’t realise that everyone is obsessed with being judged also.

***they don’t actually write about their shits.

My favourites are the ones where they say stuff like “Has had the WORST day” or “Does not believe what happened to me today!!!”, which actually means ASK ME! ASK ME ABOUT MY DAY! IT’S INCREDIBLY INTERESTING AND I WANT YOU TO ASK ME ABOUT IT!

I like to think that people just forget it’s a public domain, but I guess that’s probably not true. I really want to change stuff on my profile, but am terrified of doing so because then it announces to everyone that you’ve changed something. “Oh, Tim’s removed that thing he previously liked, he must hate it now”, “Ooh! Tim’s removed his Single status, he must be in a relationship now!”, “OOH! Tim’s removed Women from his preferences, he must have finally come out of the closet”.

Of course that really speaks to the size of my ego that I think people might give a shit about my life.